Formal Letter Week 2
Subject: Formal Introduction
Dear Professor Brad,
I am writing this letter to share more about
myself to you. My name is Leong Ying Jia and I studied engineering in Ngee Ann
polytechnic. The reason why I picked an engineering course is because I believe
that there is so much more that we can contribute to the society.
In terms of communication with others, I believe
that I have more room for improvement. One of my strengths is being able to
listen to others. By listening to
others, I am able to learn and understand the message that the other party is
trying to convey.
There was an incident that I remember vividly, it
was an online transaction where I was trying to get a refund from a seller. That
incident showed me that if neither party is willing to listen to the
difficulties that were surfaced, no fruitful result will arise from the
discussion. It can only be negated if one is willing to hear and follow through
the issue.
Sometimes, I feel that my weakness is my strength
as well. The issue of not being expressive of a certain subject may lead to
others thinking that the level of interest I have is insufficient. However, being
quiet allows me to listen actively and process my thoughts clearly. This helps
me to contribute to my team when it is needed.
In this module, there are a few things that I
expect of myself. The two key goals are to be articulate in sending a message
across and to have greater confidence in
projecting my ideas. This is to ensure that the message sent will be coherent
and well-received.
I look forward to embarking on this exciting
journey at Singapore Institute of Technology with your guidance.
Best Regards,
Leong Ying Jia
Edited 1/10/19
good day YJ, good job in writing up the introduction about yourself! I love your content and also your usage of vocab! however what I recommend is that please leave a line spacing after every paragraph because for what I see is the whole write up are being lump together!
ReplyDeleteHi Ying Jia! Good job integrating your strengths & weaknesses with your personal experience. I feel that your usage of vocabulary is excellent as well! However, I do think that you should leaves spaces in between paragraphs as I feel it slightly difficult to read.
ReplyDelete@ CF
DeleteThank you for reading and giving me a feedback Cheung Feng!
Will take note of the spacing in the future.
@Amanda
Thank you for the compliment Amanda!
I appreciate your feedback and will continue to work on it!
Hi Ying Jia, the content wise is great but like what everyone has said so far, the spacing between each paragraph is not there so do take note next time for the ease of reading for the readers. A few grammatical errors here and there and I also wish that you would elaborate and explain more about your introduction in the first paragraph since this formal email is about self introduction. Nonetheless, it was a great effort from you.
DeleteCheers :)
Hey Gerald,
DeleteI really do appreciate your help, see you around in class!
Hi Ying Jia! Great content, I felt like you elaborated well on your strength and weakness. It really allowed me to know you more as a person. Some areas to improve on are having spaces in between paragraphs, it would really make your letter more readable, and be clearer on your educational background.
ReplyDeleteOverall, I hope you are able to reach your goals for this module!
Hey Sarah,
DeleteThank you for reading my post, I am glad that you enjoyed it! Will keep trying to improve on my letter writing! Thank you!
Hey Ying Jia,
ReplyDeleteI believe you intended to have spacing between your paragraphs. Your introduction can be further elaborated by stating your current degree and how an engineering course contributes to society. Great example on how you achieved your strength (listening to others). The strengths and weaknesses structure can be improved to reduce confusion, through linking previous sentence to the next. Even so, an interesting read.
Hey Zaki,
DeleteI think what you have pointed out is very interesting. Will take note of it ! Do come back and visit my blog.Thank you.
Hey Ying Jia,
ReplyDeleteThe letter was a good read. I think most others have already mentioned the spacing between paragraphs. Anyways, I can empathize with your strength/ weakness as I too am an introvert and feel that I am not expressive enough and thus others might ignore me. Anyways, great job!
Hey Joe!
DeleteI am glad that you find this interesting, I am surprised that you are an introvert. See you later big guy!
Dear Ying Jia,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this fairly developed and informative letter. I feel that, in terms of communication strengths and weaknesses, you’ve provided the sort of concrete detail that allows us readers to learn something meaningful about your background and who you are. Still, there is a lack of clarity at times and the overall organization is a bit unexpected.
For example, the anecdote you have shared about an online interaction, while a good attempt at illustrating the point that miscommunication is just a step away from two communicators, could have been made a bit clearer if you had explained exactly what happened. And the fact that you initiate the discussion of your communication skills just after the point you mnake about contributing to society seems nearly random.
However, as you mention your goals for the module I realize that you do reflect on what you might do to make strides in terms of your skills development. For this post, you've gotten lots of good feedback. Let's see what you can do to refine the post.
I look forward to reading more of your writing this term.
Cheers,
Brad